8 stages of grief ... and joy


Released Dec 2019









Every one of us may have lived difficult times during our life or career. This concept album uses the “change curve” as the running theme to describe, step by step, a journey along love, grief and joy.

It is a perfect example illustrating that love, passion and resilience can make dreams come true ...

It is composed by Xavier Genet, recorded and mixed with Remi De Besombes and Eric Pilavian, passionate musicians in London and Paris, playing at night once their workdays are over ...

You will feel the influence of Gregory Porter, Jamie Cullum, Madeleine Peyroux, Melody Gardot and other famous Jazz and Soul artists.

Smooth jazz, a story and a touch of French class.


About this album

This album was written using a free adaptation of the “Five stage of grief” model which helped put words and structure to erratic feelings and uncontrolled situations which I came to accept over the years.

I am just a simple IT guy playing music at night in my home studio, but love, passion and resilience can make dreams come true …



Probably the most famous formulation of the stages of grief was developed in 1969 by Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in her book "On Death and Dying”. The model recognises that people have to pass through their own individual journey of grief, after which there is generally an acceptance of reality, which then enables the person to cope. Her ideas, notably “the five stages of grief” model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance), are transferable to varying degrees to personal change and emotional upset such as death, work redundancy, disability and injury, relationship break-up, financial despair, etc...

It is perhaps a way of explaining how and why 'time heals', or how 'life goes on' …


In 1999, John Fisher created a model of personal change, “The Personal Transition Curve”. It is an good analysis of how individuals deal with personal change and a perfect complement to “the five stages of grief” model.


Musical inspirations are from Monty Alexander, Chet Baker, Georges Benson, Frederik Chopin, Jamie Cullum, Miles Davis, The Doors (will you spot it ?), Bill Evans, Melody Gardot, Coleman Hawkins, Charlie Hunter, Manu Katche, Nat King Cole, Marcus Miller, Madeleine Peyroux, Prince, Erik Satie, The Roling-Stones (will you spot it ?), Bill Withers and Merci to Jazz FM UK and to FIP Radio, the best radio in the world since 1971!

Lyrics inspirations are from the Holy Bible, C. Bobin, L & N. Bodin, D. Chopra, P. Coelho, the Coran, E.E. Cummings, J. Fisher, F. Scott Fitzgerald, L. Gaudé, E. Gilbert, my Grand Parents, H. Hemingway, G. Josse, E. Kübler-Ross, G.G. Marquez, H. Murakami, P. Neruda, Ovide, H. Palmer, R. Poletti & B. Dobbs, P. Pradervand, R.M. Rilke, E. E. Schmitt, W. Shakespeare, the Tripitaka, P. Ustinov, the 4 Vedas, O. Wilde, S. Zweig and the people who influenced me.

Thank you to Gregory Porter whose music, lyrics and concerts gave me the strength to write this album …



To those who crossed my life … to those I loved, Thank you.

8 stages ... the lyrics

Stage 1 - Shock, numbness

1. No turning back

I feel broken, I feel beaten
Impossible to stand, I don’t understand

Your words took my breath away
Now I fear every new day
I feel broken, I feel beaten
I don’t understand

I’m afraid
I am scared

Suddenly the world falls apart
And I don’t even feel my heart

What can I do, why should I wait?
Tell me you love me, is it too late?
I feel broken, I feel beaten
Impossible to stand, I don’t understand

I’m afraid
I am scared

Anger and tears were our best friends
Silence and lies gave us no choice

But did we even have a chance?
Every word now finds no voice
left in the dark, no turning back
Impossible to stand, I don’t understand

I’m afraid
I am scared

Stage 2 – Denial, fear

2. It can’t be true

Hello, please call me back, call me back
it can’t be true
I’ll never let us go
Please call me

I’m sorry, I needed to know
Night and day, burnt with questions
Banging my head over memories
Why this silence, why these wrong answers?

We can’t walk away from our past
It’s not true, it can’t be the end
I can’t feel, I can’t stand, I could cry
Till I have no tears left …

Hello, please call me back
I’ll never let us go

Some days you said you loved me
Was true love not enough for you?
So much pain and grief can’t be true
Who will hold me, who will kiss you?

I thought it was getting much better
But the wound gets bigger and bigger
I swear that you will never forget
That true love is always worth the wait

I’ll never let us go

Stage 3 – Anger, frustration

3. Sweet sweet anger

I despise your strained and fake smiles, every word covered with dust
Now I leave it to you, that lust, never again I’ll fall for wiles

Our melody now rings hollow, drowning you in my life
Like a fading dream to follow, I’m not ready to leave the strife

My old friend anger
Will I get any answers?
Sweet sweet anger
I can’t take no more

Sobs will be our testament, I embrace you with contempt
Throwing-up our vertigo like a poisoned constant flow

My old friend anger
Will I get any answers?
Sweet sweet anger
I can’t take no more

I despise your strained and fake smiles, every word covered with dust
Now I leave it to you, that lust, never again I’ll fall for wiles

My old friend anger
Will I get any answers?
Sweet sweet anger
I can’t take no more



Stage 4 – Bargaining

4. The second chance

Close your eyes and pretend it's a bad dream
I cannot say there is no I nor him
I promise I will give up all I have
I promise I’ll fight hard to save our love

It's not that easy to put things behind
Please keep our memories and let us find
That we'll love more tomorrow than today
And we’ll pretend there is no yesterday

Why me, why you?

Everyone deserves a second chance
Why me, why you?
Why can't we make another choice?
Why me, why you?

Close your eyes and pretend it's a bad dream
I cannot say there is no I nor him
I promise I will give up all I have
I promise I’ll fight hard to save our love

Listen to that inner voice and you will know
that you are my love, my wrong and my right
I'd say maybe if you want to say no
What if we start over and stop the fight?

Why me, why you?
Everyone deserves a second chance
Why me, why you?
Why can't we make another choice?
Why me, why you?

Stage 5 – Resignation, low mood

5. I got lost

Your silence is killing me
Filling me with such emptiness
While I'm counting every tear, missing every word, every smile, every kiss

Yes, it happens only once, so much love and pain
Have we not lived all these years in vain?
Trapped in a hole filled with love and so much grief

If only I could whisper again in your ears, on your lips
I got lost in your eyes
If I could kiss you now

I'm afraid of every day that tears us apart
Every wasted hour against us, every dark night
I hear you, I feel you in my heart
So many years of love can’t be erased like that

If only I could whisper again in your ears, on your lips
I got lost in your eyes
If I could see your smile

Your silence is killing me, but now that our time is gone
I have no choice but to wish you love, you will always be there in my dreams

If only I could whisper again, in your ears, on your lips
I got lost in your arms, if I could see your eyes

Stage 5 – Depression

6. The hole (instrumental)



Stage 6 – rationalization, exploration

7. Still alive

We were searching for the missing pieces of ourselves
Taking us away from all that we’ve ever known

Two solitudes dreaming to protect each other
We knew that our hearts were meant to be together

I’m alive, I survived
Lost in the unknown
I’m alive, I survived
Love will wake me up

Our love was patient, our love was so kind
No illusions but dreams, no lies but so many hopes

We were not looking with our eyes but with our minds
Love was that little voice beneath every silence

I’m alive, I survived
Lost in the unknown
I’m alive, I survived
Love will wake me up

Stage 6 - upward turn, healing

8 . Lovely Day

When I wake up in the morning, love
and the sunlight hurts my eyes
and something without warning, love
Bears heavy on my mind

Then I think of (look at) you
And the world's alright with me
Just one (look at you) thought for you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
... lovely day, lovely day, lovely day ...

When the day that lies ahead of me
seems impossible to face
when someone else instead of me
always seems to know the way

Then I think of (look at) you
and the world's alright with me
Just one (look at you) thought for you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day
... lovely day, lovely day, lovely day ...

When the day that lies ahead of me
seems impossible to face
when someone else instead of me
always seems to know the way

Then I (look at) think of you
And the world's alright with me
Just one (look at) thought for you
And I (know) hope it's gonna be
A lovely day ...

Stage 7 – Acceptance, hope

9. (If I) Smile

Smile though (your) my heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, (you) I'll get by
If (you) I smile through (your) my fear and sorrow
Smile and for sure (maybe) tomorrow
(You) I’ll see the sun come shining through for (you) me

Light up (your) my face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time (you) I must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
(You) I'll find that life is still worthwhile
If (you) I just smile

That's the time (you) I must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
(You) I'll find that life is still worthwhile
If (you) I just smile

(Smile) though (your) my heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, (you) I'll get by

That's the time (you) I must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
(You) I'll find that life is still worthwhile
If (you) I just smile



Stage 7 – Acceptance, decision

10. Braver than loneliness

You’re not gonna see me begging for love
You won’t see me full of regrets and tears
You’ll not see me down on my knees
You’ll not see me begging for love
No you will not see me full of regrets and tears

I’m no longer staying where I am
And I let us go
Thank you
For what we were together
Thank you
For what you made me become

I forgot the past and learnt my lesson
Yes I know that great love is great misery
I’ll burn our memories, set myself free
I’ve chosen to be stronger than sadness
I think love is an endless forgiveness
And I must be braver than loneliness

I’m no longer staying where I am
And I let us go
Thank you
For what we were together
Thank you
For what you made me become

I forgot the past and learnt my lesson
Yes I know that great love is great misery
I’ll burn our memories, set myself free
I’ve chosen to be stronger than sadness
I think love is an endless forgiveness
And I must be braver than loneliness

Stage 8 – Change, confidence

11. Unforgettable

Unforgettable
that’s what you are
Unforgettable
Tho' near or far


Like a song of love that clings to me
how the thought of you does things to me
Never before has someone been more

Unforgettable in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay
that’s why darling it's incredible
That someone so unforgettable
thinks that I am unforgettable too


Unforgettable
that’s what you are
Unforgettable
Tho' near or far
Like a song of love that clings to me
how the thought of you does things to me
Never before has someone been more


Unforgettable
In every way
and forever more, that's how you'll stay

That's why darling it's incredible
that someone so unforgettable
thinks that I am unforgettable too

Stage 8 – moving on, looking at the future

12. You'll be there

I'm alright when you hold me, I'm alright when you care
The days always seem brighter when I know you'll be there
When you reach out to me, I know that I’m free
Your touch is like magic to me, and I know I can be …

Me, myself and I
It's the gift that you gave me
And one day you made me free
Yes I know you'll be there
you'll be there

Through the tears and frustration, you whisper your dreams in my ear
(No more waiting,) life is too short, I want you to keep loving …
This doesn't happen to everyone, I didn't know this really could exist
But I feel it deep inside me, when I'm in your arms (I am free to be)

Me, myself and I
It's the gift that you gave me
And one day you made me free
Yes I know you'll be there
you'll be there

To welcome in the new day's warmth, to leave no truths untold
From the first moment together, I knew I wanted you and you alone
We now know how it feels to love
The part of you that's been revealed only to me, myself and I
And I'll always be there (I’ll always be yours)

Me, myself and I
It's the gift that you gave me
And one day you made me free
Yes I know you'll be there
you'll be there

Partners



Any profit will go to “A Leg To Stand On” (ALTSO).

After raising more than $400,000 in 6 years for ALTSO thanks to my Rock bands in Paris (www.sixfloorsunder.com) and London (www.theovergrounds.com) and to my colleague and friend André Donatiu, I will carry on to thank and to help.

ALTSO is a non-profit organization providing free prosthetic limbs, orthotic devices, mobility aids, corrective surgery and physiotherapy to children with limb disabilities in the developing world.

Since launching their inaugural clinic in Ahmedabad, India in 2002, ALTSO has treated nearly 16,000 children with congenital or traumatic limb disabilities across Asia, Africa and Latin America. A simple treatment or device offers such children the physical capabilities needed to access the opportunities and self-esteem earned through education, work and mobility.







ALTSO, Mobility inspires. Photo of one of the kid